Author Topic: Joke of the day  (Read 56486 times)

DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #270 on: February 23, 2018, 02:09:58 pm »
NON VI VIRTUTE VICI
Measure twice, cut once.
perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
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"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me

Lumpy

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #271 on: February 23, 2018, 07:18:57 pm »

DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #272 on: February 27, 2018, 02:10:42 pm »
NON VI VIRTUTE VICI
Measure twice, cut once.
perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time." - H. L. Mencken
"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me

DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #273 on: March 01, 2018, 07:31:14 pm »
NON VI VIRTUTE VICI
Measure twice, cut once.
perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time." - H. L. Mencken
"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me

DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #274 on: March 05, 2018, 05:05:31 pm »
Maxine Waters promises reparations in ‘stump speech for 2020’

http://www.theamericanmirror.com/maxine-waters-promises-reparations-stump-speech-2020/


Quote
If Democrats win back the House in 2018, Maxine Waters is promising financial reparations for black Americans.

During an appearance in Selma, Alabama on Saturday, Waters appeared alongside CNN commentator Angela Rye.

Waters took her time to — what else — attack President Trump, criticizing him for his alleged connections to Russia.

“He’s a bully — he has a bully mentality,” Waters said of Trump.

“We need someone in the presidency who not only has good sense but understands diplomacy and understands what we need to do to have peace in this world so we can all look forward to the possibility that we’re someday going to have a world that’s about peace and justice and respect for individual liberty,” Water said.

You've gotta be kidding me!?!

BIGGEST.....OXYMORON.......EVER!




Maxine Waters. The biggest joke I've ever posted here.
NON VI VIRTUTE VICI
Measure twice, cut once.
perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time." - H. L. Mencken
"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me

DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #275 on: March 05, 2018, 05:14:59 pm »
NON VI VIRTUTE VICI
Measure twice, cut once.
perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time." - H. L. Mencken
"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me

phaed

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #276 on: March 06, 2018, 12:36:05 am »
[3.205x10^(-11)]%'er

DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #277 on: March 06, 2018, 02:15:08 pm »
A man is caught sitting at a make-shift campfire by a forest ranger, and to the ranger’s horror, the man is eating a bald eagle. The man is consequently put in jail for the crime. On the day of his trail, the conversation went something like this:
JUDGE: “Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?”

MAN: “Yes I do. But if you let me argue my case, I’ll explain what happened.”

JUDGE: “Proceed.”

MAN: “I got lost in the woods. I hadn’t had anything to eat for two weeks. I was so hungry. Next thing I see is a Bald Eagle swooping down at the lake for some fish. I knew that if I followed the Eagle I could maybe steal the fish. I caught up with the eagle who lighted upon a tree stump to eat the fish. I threw a stone toward the eagle hoping he would drop the fish and fly away. Unfortunately, in my weakened condition, my aim was off, and the rock hit the eagle squarely on his poor little head, and killed it. I thought long and hard about what had happened, but figured that since I killed it I might as well eat it since it would be more disgraceful to let it rot on the ground.”

JUDGE: “The court will take a recess while I consider your testimony.”

(15 minutes goes by and the judge returns.)

JUDGE: “Due to the extreme circumstance you were under and because you didn’t intend to kill the eagle, the court will dismiss the charges.”

The Judge then leans over the bench and whispers: “If you don’t mind my asking, what does a bald eagle taste like?”

MAN: “Well your honor, it is hard to explain. The best I can describe it is somewhere between a California Condor and a Spotted Owl.”
NON VI VIRTUTE VICI
Measure twice, cut once.
perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time." - H. L. Mencken
"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me

DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #278 on: March 07, 2018, 10:45:47 am »
NON VI VIRTUTE VICI
Measure twice, cut once.
perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time." - H. L. Mencken
"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me

DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #279 on: March 11, 2018, 06:16:32 am »
NON VI VIRTUTE VICI
Measure twice, cut once.
perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time." - H. L. Mencken
"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me

DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #280 on: March 11, 2018, 06:18:15 am »
A guy is walking with his friend when he says “I’m a walking economy.”
The friend asks, “How so?”

“My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!”
NON VI VIRTUTE VICI
Measure twice, cut once.
perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time." - H. L. Mencken
"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me

phaed

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #281 on: March 11, 2018, 07:37:15 pm »
[3.205x10^(-11)]%'er

DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #282 on: March 14, 2018, 07:53:30 am »



On another note-

Albert Einstein was born on this day.

Stephen Hawking Died today.

Interesting........
NON VI VIRTUTE VICI
Measure twice, cut once.
perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time." - H. L. Mencken
"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me

DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #283 on: March 14, 2018, 05:13:31 pm »
NON VI VIRTUTE VICI
Measure twice, cut once.
perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time." - H. L. Mencken
"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me

DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #284 on: March 17, 2018, 06:24:18 am »
NON VI VIRTUTE VICI
Measure twice, cut once.
perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time." - H. L. Mencken
"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me