Author Topic: Joke of the day  (Read 53476 times)

DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #255 on: February 09, 2018, 09:11:37 am »
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MamaLiberty

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #256 on: February 09, 2018, 09:14:18 am »
Now, that's funny. :)
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DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #257 on: February 12, 2018, 12:29:52 pm »
Not funny.



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perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time." - H. L. Mencken
"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me

MamaLiberty

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #258 on: February 12, 2018, 01:52:44 pm »
A funny that won't be funny if...

Was talking with a dear friend today and we were grousing about the snow. I've been snowed in for more than three weeks this time, and had to pay someone to plow the driveway so my friend could take me to the store. I don't drive on ice - not to mention that my car has been stuck in a drift on the lower part of that driveway for most of a month now. No point in digging it out until the road is clear... I dug it out twice already from another drift on the other side... and I'm tired of it. But this time I know I'd not be able to do it at all. Snow is more than a foot deep in the higher places by the house, and who knows how deep in the drifts. Clue... can't see my tires right now. :) My firewood was already completely covered with a snow drift, and that stack was two feet tall. (The man with the plow managed to push an awful lot more snow onto the wood... so it will be a while before I can get at it.) ARGGGG

Anyway:  Each spring at least one person has to tell me that we needed more snow. I told my friend that the first person who gripes about not getting ENOUGH snow - is going to get smacked upside the head. She laughed and agreed that was a very good idea. She offered to hold them while I smacked them! LOL
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The desire/compulsion to control the lives and property of others is the ROOT of all evil.

phaed

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #259 on: February 12, 2018, 08:23:11 pm »
Not funny.





what's worse, is they need to add a 0.
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phaed

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #260 on: February 12, 2018, 08:26:44 pm »
A funny that won't be funny if...

Was talking with a dear friend today and we were grousing about the snow. I've been snowed in for more than three weeks this time, and had to pay someone to plow the driveway so my friend could take me to the store. I don't drive on ice - not to mention that my car has been stuck in a drift on the lower part of that driveway for most of a month now. No point in digging it out until the road is clear... I dug it out twice already from another drift on the other side... and I'm tired of it. But this time I know I'd not be able to do it at all. Snow is more than a foot deep in the higher places by the house, and who knows how deep in the drifts. Clue... can't see my tires right now. :) My firewood was already completely covered with a snow drift, and that stack was two feet tall. (The man with the plow managed to push an awful lot more snow onto the wood... so it will be a while before I can get at it.) ARGGGG

Anyway:  Each spring at least one person has to tell me that we needed more snow. I told my friend that the first person who gripes about not getting ENOUGH snow - is going to get smacked upside the head. She laughed and agreed that was a very good idea. She offered to hold them while I smacked them! LOL

ya might consider trading for a 4x4
« Last Edit: February 12, 2018, 08:32:06 pm by phaed »
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phaed

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #261 on: February 12, 2018, 08:31:05 pm »
two guys were deer huntin on one of the guys' property.  the other guy was looking through his scope, and saw back at the house, his friend's wife was cheating on him with another man.  he told his friend.  his friend says, "you shoot her in the head, and i'll shoot the guy's prick.  the man told his friend, "hell, i can do all that in one shot."
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MamaLiberty

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #262 on: February 13, 2018, 02:15:33 am »
ya might consider trading for a 4x4

That would be great if I had any money. :) Hell, I'd love to have a NEW 4WD vehicle. Not going to get much for a 17 year old car. Such is life.
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DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #263 on: February 13, 2018, 11:52:36 am »

ya might consider trading for a 4x4
As a matter of fact.....I'm actually buying a 2018 Cherokee tomorrow. No ML, you can't have it. It's for my wife. :P :-*

« Last Edit: February 13, 2018, 11:57:43 am by DiabolusDementis »
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Measure twice, cut once.
perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time." - H. L. Mencken
"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me

phaed

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #264 on: February 13, 2018, 05:27:55 pm »

ya might consider trading for a 4x4
As a matter of fact.....I'm actually buying a 2018 Cherokee tomorrow. No ML, you can't have it. It's for my wife. :P :-*



i just traded my 2015 trailhawk in for a truck.  it was a good vehicle, including off-road, but ended up being too small for everything i wanted to do.
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DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #265 on: February 13, 2018, 06:06:31 pm »


i just traded my 2015 trailhawk in for a truck.  it was a good vehicle, including off-road, but ended up being too small for everything i wanted to do.
This won't be a trailhawk. It's a "limited". Leather/fully loaded. Good enough for the wife.

 I drive a truck. Always will. I'm a carpenter so it's kind of a job requirement. ;)
NON VI VIRTUTE VICI
Measure twice, cut once.
perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time." - H. L. Mencken
"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me

MamaLiberty

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #266 on: February 14, 2018, 05:40:33 am »
Oh, that's really nice, DD. Wish I could find one I could afford. 4WD cars and trucks are at premium prices here. It's just easier and cheaper to stay home in bad weather. The extended bad weather this year is unusual. All that global warming, you understand. LOL
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The desire/compulsion to control the lives and property of others is the ROOT of all evil.

DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #267 on: February 16, 2018, 02:43:45 pm »
NON VI VIRTUTE VICI
Measure twice, cut once.
perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time." - H. L. Mencken
"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me

DiabolusDementis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #268 on: February 21, 2018, 12:45:51 pm »
What do you call a mustache soaked in urine?



A pistachio.
NON VI VIRTUTE VICI
Measure twice, cut once.
perita manus mens exculta
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value --- zero." Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Cryptocurrency eventually returns to its intrinsic value--- zero." Me
"In times of universal deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time." - H. L. Mencken
"How is it, that the government can tax future generations today, but it is not considered taxation without representation?" - me

MamaLiberty

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #269 on: February 22, 2018, 03:34:05 am »
What do you call a mustache soaked in urine?



A pistachio.

EEEWWWWW!!  LOL
I will not knowingly initiate force. I am a self owner.

The desire/compulsion to control the lives and property of others is the ROOT of all evil.